Shut the Window before a Crouch sneaks in

It’s Transfer deadline day, so I will attempt my first ever live blog thingy.

1 AM– And right off the bat, we have SSN(Sky Sports News) drop a bomb, and by that I mean a predictable dud, “David Bentley to spurs? Who’s next, Kanu? Don’t worry, Sky Sources are scouring the QPR Message boards for more news. Ahh yes, let the wheelin’ and dealin’ begin.

Stay tune for the next update. And while you wait, here’s this American

1:39 AM- Well during my scouring of the interwebz, saw this on kckrs via the Gunnersblog. Top Notch stuff enjoy.

Stay tuned for more silliness

8:00 AM-  For the next 12 hours, nothing but SSN on the tube and it’s been a busy 7 hours, Samba to QPR, every Spurs player linked their as well. Becks to PSG, ‘Arry with two carside interviews and Haylee McQueen has replaced Alex Hammond. Whoa, who is this SSN chick reporting from Carrow Road?

Guess that will be for next update.

11:00 AM-  Well this has rather been a boring last three hours as SSN has been fixated on Becks returned to Europe. At the very least Kirsty Gallagher has been on the air. And here comes the blowhard Jim White, the british Chris Berman.

Stay Tuned for hopefully a better update

11:30 AM- Nothing of note to bring up, just this little Deadline day beauty.  (Kate Riley)

Say Hi to the World

Say Hi to the World

1:27 PM- Less than 4 hours till the window shuts, and here’s our first twitter swizzle of the day, Pepe Reina to Arsenal? Surely has to be false, no way Wenger would spend money, twice on deadline day.  And amazingly QPR have been linked to more Spurs retreads.

So in other words, nothing to see here

3:03 PM-  Trip to Popeyes for chicken is complete, and I’ve missed the shift of anchors at SSN. Jim White and Natalie Sawyer are in, the fourth duo I’ve seen today.  So looks like the big news of the day is that Peter Odemwingie seems to have barracked himself in his car outside of Loftus Road, looking for a deal with the club.

Poor Peter

Poor Peter

4:11 PM- Less than 50 minutes till the window shuts, nothing big going on.

Also this happened. Poor Kate.

5:00 PM- Window is shut. Does anyone know where Peter Odemwinge is? Wheelin’ and Dealin’ to the end, ‘Arry on the TV one last time.

 

 

Bitches I’m out!

What To Watch For

  • A regular blog entry
  • Chicks doing stupid things

The French Connection on Tyneside

Pardoyle

 

Well, I think we all know what’s on Alan Pardew’s netflix instant queue. Pardew has been to France more often, I think he referred to himself as Popeye Doyle. Though I think Pardew didnt understand the plot. Hopefully he brought the right sex shooter for these upcoming six pointers.

Newcastle vs Aston Villa

There was a sever lack of ball boy mishaps in the match, but nonetheless this six pointer produce some top quality action and goals. Papiss, finally realizing it’s the second half of the season, decided to pick up the slack left by his Ba-less side. **Breaking News** Newcastle just signed Neapolitan Ice Cream on a 3 and a half year deal. Pardew thought he was a French Defender.

Another loss by Villa, and another loss closer for Lerner to complete his project of turning them into the EPL version o  the Cleveland Browns

Manchester City vs QPR

Well to say this lacked the excitement of last seasons finale would be an understatement. Maybe it was the lack of the presence of a certain Italian fellow. The actual game must have been a severe distraction for ol ‘Arry, as he must be twitching from not wheelin’ and dealin’ in the last 4 hours.

What to Watch For

  • There’s a certain game on Sunday, not sure if you all have heard about it. I think they call it the Superbowl
  • Found this little gem while doing my season 3 rewatch of Chuck, enjoy Sarah Walker
  • Tune in Thursday for my attempt of doing a live blog of SSN transfer day coverage.

 

The One with the Fake…………..

 

 

After spending much of my week skyping with Manti Te’o’s Girlfriend, I sat down for another weekend of premier league action. Games on the docket included a club who’s premier league survival is as real as Lennay Kekua, a club who’s manager who’s jumped the shark, and a match that was absent of optimal conditions.

QPR vs West Ham

Another London Darby for the Rangers, 3 in 3, saw the debut goal from FIFA fanatic Loic Remy, and another point for ‘Arry’s great escape challenge. Getting ever closer to getting that PS Trophy for it. Big Sam on the other hand, tried his best to make me hate the sport. Oh, I bet Joe Cole plays PES, that bastard

Chelsea vs Arsenal

Another London Darby, Arsenal fresh off charging their fans $100 for seats used some of that cash to grant Theo Walcott an £100,000 a week contract. Money well spent, now lets watch him fail at crossing the ball cause the gaffer sends him out wide. And for the second week in a row, Arsenal again showed off that they are practicing American Football, as another players was tackled in the box(Rugby tackled as those brits call it). Oh yeah, Fat Rafa still sucks and that’s a fact.

Manchester United vs Spurs

Finally not a London darby, as we saw the old man, send out a lineup with 5 midfielders, none of which were Wingers(Jeff, Community back in two weeks, on NBC).

Let me regroup from that comma fest.

Van Persie scores, Dempsey scores and we all had a merry fucking christmas

Ian Darke loves America

This week in Ian Darke Loves America, Fat Frank and the LA Galaxy were the feature subject. We also had a rare appearance from Ian Dark Hates America, hey Ian how about giving us a fucking warning before spoiling results elsewhere.

What To Watch For

Stay Anal(ytically)

Welcome Back

 

 

I’m back from the gutter and I’ve brought someone with me. Well it took till the new year to forget about posting, and I’m sure you were all disappointed. I mean where else could you get hard hitting analysis on the English Soccer scene.

That being said(which I dont think was much) I’m going back to my roots, back to pics and gifs of chicks with big racks.(Aren’t You Glad I Didn’t Continue The Rhyme?) And if there is time, soccer.

QPR vs Tottenham 

Ah yes, the early 6 AM Kickoff, my favorite. Who doesnt like waking up early after a late night of TV Watching and beer drinking? Who doesnt like watching two teams kick the ball around on 3 hours of sleep?  Normally this guy would like it, but the 90 minutes of inaction at Loftus Road was not what the doctor ordered. Happy Time ‘Arry sent out a daring 4-6-0 formation, while Spurs sent out Adebayor. It went exactly how you thought it would. Oof.

Super Sunday Action

The rest of the Saturday games were dreadful, so lets move on to Super Sunday Action. And well it was dominated by the Manchester Clubs. On one side you have Scousers doing their best to not racial abuse someone and pretend like they are still a big club, and on the other side you have Theo Walcott as your top forward.

Not Surprisingly neither side stood a chance against the Manchester Opponents. A certain Robin Van Persie made his presence known and well a James Milner went back in time to discover his talent to lead their clubs to victory.

What To Watch For