I, for one, welcome our new Moyes Overload

Moyes

So it has come to this, I’m producing cheap, not even close to being called photoshop work. And for the first time since I’ve been following the sport, there will be someone else calling the shots at Manchester United(that’s if you don’t include the time Doctor Who was the manager).

Sir Alex Ferguson announced his retirement, and the news was so big that United even sent me an email stating that he did. The old man did leave us with a nice going away present, a 20th league title. Unfortunately he also left us with David Moyes. Well maybe he’ll find us a midfielder.

Still mad they didn’t give me a call, my European Experience at QPR and Inter is outstanding, surely I could replicate that at United.

Anyways here’s my predictions for the upcoming summer.

In

  • Gareth Bale?- No just kidding, not spending that kind of cash, but they are in need of a Winger, and not Jeff.
  • CR7?- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, no.
  • Someone from Dortmund?- Possibly, maybe Lewandowski, maybe not. Rues? Nope. Shit no one then.
  • Baines?- Fuck me it’s gonna be him right?

Out

  • Rooney- Fat Boy wants to go, let him.
  • Anderson- Second Fat boy wants to go, definitely let him.
  • Nani/Ashley Young/Valencia- two of those three are gone. If you can get Bale, make it all 3.

What really happens

I think Rooney goes, and so do Ando, Nani and Ashley Young. There’s probably around 40-45 Million Pounds(money not Rooney and Ando’s combine weight, though it’s close) to spend on targets. With Wilfred Zaha already in, then I would hope they would make a play for Bale if Spurs don’t make the Champions League. Otherwise it will Baines or Fellaini and the window will shut with nothing else.

Chelsea will sign Mourihno and Falcao and will never lose a match again. Liverpool will finish 6th, cause Stewart Downing, Arry will spend more QPR money before leaving for a Premier League Side. No one will give Rafa a job. I will make more bad attempts at photoshopping items. Goonies will win their 4th place trophy. NBC and FOX will take away my SSN and more importantly my Olivia Godfrey…Jews.Boobs. Not in that order.

What to Watch For

  • Great GATsby will be a stinker(movie wise, not financially, people are stupid)
  • Dear god, I might do another one of these before the day is over.
  • Seriously I might do another one.
  • The Evil Castrohead Rises.
  • Probably Not Happy Endings, fucking ABC, more on that later, maybe
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