Mo Predicts Soccer

Much like Matt Saracen, I’m closing my eyes and throwing up a last second hail mary to predict the european season.

England

I got either Chelsea or Arsenal Winning. Manchester United to finish 2nd, and City to miss out on Champions League

  1. Chelsea/Arsenal
  2. Manchester United
  3. Arsenal/Chelsea
  4. Liverpool
  5. City/Spurs/Everton/Palace

Champions League

Barca wins. Probably

Rest of Europe

Barca wins league, Rafa gets the axe at Madrid, Klopp goes to Madrid, Rafa to City. Suarez doesnt bite anyone

EPL Merry Go Round

kacey

Arsenal– Oh my God it’s you, I never thought I’d see you here. Looks like all is well, like you’re having a hell of a good time. 2 trophies in 2 attempts. And Here comes the League. Deer god, am I actually saying this?

Manchester City– If you ain’t got two trophies by March. You’re probably gonna be sacked alone. Least that’s what tradition told you. And it don’t matter if you don’t believe, Come Sunday morning, you best be unemployed like you’re supposed to.

Manchester United- If you’re ever gonna find a silver lining It’s gotta be a cloudy day It’s gotta be a cloudy day. If you wanna fill your bottle up with lightning You’re gonna have to stand in the rain You’re gonna have to stand in the rain. And Moyes brought a lot of rain.

Chelsea– Follow your Torres and miss lots of goals.

Liverpool- So keep it to yourself, If you think that you’ll win trophies, Put ’em on a shelf. **looks at shelf, seems empty**

Everton- Im out of songs, so yeah, they just dont have the money needed to compete with the top 5.

Spurs- Now they have the money, but they just dont have quality needed, at all levels, players, managers, Board members.

Stoke– With FM Legend Bojan in tow, Top 10 finish is in the cards

West Ham is the new Stoke. Piss enough folks to finish in the top half of the table.

Swansea- At this point, I’m running out of clubs, so first come first serve. They still have Bony, but no Michu magic.

Newcastle- The French National Team will struggle to adapt in the first season in england but will recover nice enough

Hull City– Steve Bruce just lost Shane Long, so that’s a positive.

Crystal Palace– Assuming they get Zaha back, they’ll avoid relegation again.

QPR– Old boy ‘Arry is back. And he’s looking to prove he didnt make a mistake taking the job. Wonder how many of his old crew he brings back

Aston Villa– Poor Paul Lambert, just keep getting the shaft. Benteke scores enough goals to get sold in the winter.

Southampton– Lose your manager to spurs, lose half your squad to Liverpool. And sign Shane Long. Welp.

West Brom– shits gone all wrong since they couldnt resign Lukaku on loan. New manager, Anelka, and maybe new league

Sunderland-Jozy Scores Goals, Jozy Score Goals? Jozy score goals, lololol.

Leicester– Tough break for them, I just remembered they got promoted

Burnley – Somebody has to finish last, might as well be them

What to Watch For

  • I finished Fringe, i review it later
  • I start Sopranos soon
  • Oh yeah, EPL SEASON BABY
  • I apologize for nothing, your fault for reading this dribble

 

Tips for US Soccer “fans”

It’s been 4 years since the lot of you have pretended to care about soccer. So there’s a chance you may have forgotten the proper USA etiquette on how to watch a 90 minute match involving the good ol US of A.

  1. When the Other team scores, make sure to scream bullshit and that’s a conspiracy.
  2. When the US doesnt score, make sure to scream bullshit and that’s a conspiracy.
  3. When the US wins, make sure to proclaim that soccer has finally arrived.
  4. When the USA loses, make sure to proclaim that no one cares about soccer anyways, and how about them Heat/Patriots/Other Bandwagon team?

There you have, enjoy the world cup

Rumbo al Mundial

It’s that time of the year again. Where I make an ass of myself by trying to make predictions on sporting events. The victim this time around is the 2014 World Cup.

I’m sure you’re asking, Now Mo, why would you take on this grueling challenge?

What? You’re not? Fuck you.

Group A

  1. Brazil
  2. Los Mexicanos
  3. The Croats
  4. Poor non payed Cameroons

Group B

  1. The Spain
  2. The Dutch
  3. The Chiles
  4. The Aussie

Group C

  1. Japan(PREDICT A MAKING)
  2. Greece
  3. Ivory Coast
  4. Columbia(nobody die please)

Group D

  1. Ur a Gay
  2. Greasy  I talians
  3. British Bastards, quid that
  4. Costa Rica. Where’s your Wanchope now?!?!

Group E

  1. Le France
  2. El Ecuador
  3. Di Swiss
  4. El Honduras

Group F 

  1. Le Messi
  2. Le Pjanic
  3. The Nigerians…….Oh that could have been bad
  4. The Terrorists never win…….like that

Group G

  1. Germany
  2. USA
  3. Portugal
  4. Ghana

Group H

  1. The Hazard Warnings
  2. The Russians are coming
  3. Korea, i forget is the good korea or the bad korea.
  4.  Algeria I saw a movie once about them

Knockout stage predictions, soon.

 

 

 

Hash a tag Burgs

mad

 

 

I said I didnt want to be a pretentious ass when the reboot happened, but here I am, ready to do a hardcore TV Snob. But really come on, wasnt that just the best of Don, Campbell and Peggy?

Oh you didnt watch it? Well you’re an ass.

Anyways, last Sundays episode led me to this very original thought. A very hitfixish attempt to rank the shows that on their very best day provided with some of the best hour(or half hour) of television that Philo Farnsworth could have envisioned.

  •  Now these happened way less as the series progressed, but Chuck enters my list at number 10. Check out the second half of Season 2 for fine examples. 2.19 is my favorite.
  • The first sitcom on my list goes to the gone too soon, Happy Endings. It started off slow, and ending slow, but it had a great middle. Season 2(there’s a theme here) is some of the best TV I’ve seen.
  • The first HBO show to find its way onto my list is Six Feet Under. A show that showcased the greatness of Peter Krause and the unsoiled, raw version of pre dexter Michael C Hall.
  • There had to be one Aaron Sorkin show on my list, even though he’s an ass, he does produce good TV. West Wing, specifically the S1 cliffhanger and the S2 two parter is 3 great hours of TV. S2 finale is also worth mentioning.
  • Second HBO show on my list is none other The Wire.The opening credits song might have changed but the quality remained the same.(well if we ignored that fifth season which we all agreed to do so)
  • Entering my top 5 is the longest running primetime TV Show(dont fact check please) in The Simpsons. The Conan O’Brien years produced so many great hours of television.
  • You didnt think I’d forget about Don Draper did you? Elisabeth Moss second show Mad Men wasnt always my favorite show, in fact I didnt much care for the first season. Actually, why is it on here? Oh yeah this.
  • Entering the top 3, and it’s back to back AMC shows with Breaking Bad. The show that will win all the awards. If you’ve seen it, then there’s no need for me to butcher it. If you havent, fuck you, check out S3/4 for full awesomeness, bitch.
  • The FX sweep of the top 2 spots begins with the adaptation of Leonard Elmore Raylan Givens short stories in Justified. Bringing back the theme, Season 2 is just must watch for any aspiring TV snob.
  • Of course the number 1 spot was going to the my favorite tv show in The Shield. Just watch it all.
  • Honorable Mentions, Scrubs, Sports Night, Futurama, Louie, and The Americans.

What To Watch For

  • Mo’s Totally True World Cup Facts looks at group C. Shut it I dont need to go in order.
  • Columbia- I’ve watch so much of Pablo Escobar stuff via History Channel and telenovelas
  • Greece- Gyros are greek food right? I like gyros
  • Ivory Coast-  It’s a fucking disgrace that this is all i got
  • Japan- I’ve owned nintendos, snes, gameboys, PS1, Ps2 and PS3s. I like a japan a products.

A Rise to Power, Wigan’s new look Leader

Wigan rises to prominence, after it’s fall from grace begins now. New manager Eric Cantona has been tasked to replace Roberto Martinez in it’s goal to gain promotion back to the Premier League.

And Cantona has been quick to change the shape of the squad, with many moves in the market already.

IN

  1. Wilfried Zaha on short term loan.
  2. Adnan Januzaj- Season Loan
  3. Yaya Sanogo- Season loan
  4. Hector Herrera- Season loan
  5. Nick Powell- Season loan
  6. Gio Casillas- $525K from Chivas
  7. Antonio Briseno – $600K from Atlas
  8. Marco Fabian on Free for 2014.

OUT

  1. Ali Al-Habsi sold for $2.5M
  2. Espinoza sold for $2.1M

Cantona’s new look team already has brought Wigan a trophy as Wigan defeated Manchester United in the Community Shield. PLaying a 4-3-3 with Zaha up top, Wigan struck first with a Zaha header, debating De Gea to the spot. United dominated the rest of the match going up 2-1 and creating many chances. A 83rd minute corner saw Gary Caldwell equalize for Wigan, and a 93rd minute quick counter saw Wilfried Zaha put in the winner from a spilled save from De Gea.

What to Watch For

  • Promotion?
  • Europa League fun
  • Deadline day exits?