Tips for US Soccer “fans”

It’s been 4 years since the lot of you have pretended to care about soccer. So there’s a chance you may have forgotten the proper USA etiquette on how to watch a 90 minute match involving the good ol US of A.

  1. When the Other team scores, make sure to scream bullshit and that’s a conspiracy.
  2. When the US doesnt score, make sure to scream bullshit and that’s a conspiracy.
  3. When the US wins, make sure to proclaim that soccer has finally arrived.
  4. When the USA loses, make sure to proclaim that no one cares about soccer anyways, and how about them Heat/Patriots/Other Bandwagon team?

There you have, enjoy the world cup

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